PMSing Men and Trivia Chat

Life is change. We know this, but I don’t think most people really grasp that idea until someone such as myself points it out. We go through life, day after day, most of us sticking more or less to a routine. We think that life is the same thing over and over, but, truth is, we are in a constant state of evolving. Only when we take a trip down memory lane do we realize how things have changed.

Since becoming a mom, the focus of my whole life shifted from myself onto my daughter. She goes where I go and she decides when it is best to go home. She announces this to all around us lest there be any doubt. We have also bought a house, so the majority of my free time has been planting things in the yard and pulling up the never-ending growth of weeds. I have little time for my computer outside of research (usually about baby supplies or where is a kid-friendly to meet up with friends) and emails.

Last week, my computer finally crossed the line. It went offline 5 times in one day and I had it. It was one of those unusual days where I had several opportunities to log on for a bit and catch up on my news and newsgroups. Unfortunately, my computer kept going offline, so I would spend most of the time I had at the computer rebooting. I informed the frog that this computer would soon be airborne and we should probably thing about getting me a new one soon.

So, now I have my spiffy new machine sitting here on my file cabinet eagerly awaiting the big switch where we plug it into the world wide web. All I have to do is clean up the hard drive on my old computer and decide what programs I either want to erase or transfer to the new hard drive. The old hard drive will then be reformatted and used as a fancy storage disc. So, here I sit going through all my old programs

I came across my chat program. I used to love chat. I even had a shortcut on my taskbar so I could log on with just a single click. I used to chat every day. I met people from all over the world. I used to debate politics and philosophy with people on at least 5 continents. When I was in school, chat was my only real means of social interaction. Chat saved me from feeling isolated and alone when all I did all day and all night was homework. I didn’t have time for a real social life, so, inside this tiny box, lay my whole world.

I made many friends in this box. Had several sleepless nights talking to people, getting to know them and their offline lives. Some were for real, others were living out their fantasies online. You never know what you are dealing with on the other side of this box. Personally, I didn’t really care if people were honest or not. I found them amusing, they gave me comfort, I was fulfilled.

Eventually, my computer life came into my real life. I met my husband in a chat room. Obviously that turned out for the best. Our daughter is named for a chatter I knew for many years who died right before we found out we were parents.

But, like all things, my chatting heyday sort of petered off. The debates became a blue of non-sequiturs. Infighting and drama became the order of the room and actual structured discussion became unusual. My schoolwork took over whatever time I was not with my then boyfriend. Chat had to take a back seat.

Now, I am barely online at all. I have a couple messengers on my computer and will usually talk to a couple people once in awhile if they are on when I am. I have a few newsgroups and a couple mommy groups where I go and post. They are slow groups and not much going on, but they are just my speed.

My last chat room was a trivia room full of some of the most interesting people. Most of them were (still are, as far as I know) Canadians and from other countries besides the USA. I loved going in there for the friendly banter and trivia questions while I relaxed. Sadly, once I was pregnant, I was tired a lot more and didn’t have the energy to go down and say hi to my friends. One day, it just stopped being even a remote part of my daily routine.

Today, I went into visit. Two of my favorite regulars were there and talked to me for a bit. I asked how they were, they asked how I was and how Kassie is doing. The trivia questions scrolled by on my screen in between conversation posts. We caught up and they encouraged me (one in a rather bitchy but loving way) to come write today. I realized that I really miss their friendships and that of several other people I have met over the years. I could say that I will make a better effort to stay in touch with them and will do my best to get in touch with the people I have not talked to in the past year, but I know this is not the case. I think that chapter of my life is past. This makes me sad.

I am happy that they remember me in the trivia room and always seem interested in saying howdee without a lot of fanfare. Someday I hope to meet some of them. I stand a better chance of that happening than me getting back into chat.

Like I said, I really loved chat. For a couple years, it really saved my sanity. I cannot name most of the people I used to talk to every day and whose lives were so intertwined with my own. The change happened so gradually, that I barely noticed it. But, today I sit here, a little sad for the loss of a wonderful chapter of my life.